Differin Update 11

And so... Week 13 has ended. Yep not much progress since last week. New pimples has pop up chin, sides of my face...AND IDKY!!!! Under my eye area there is a manifest.............

My forehead is FULL of tiny CCs.... It's slowly purging i think cos i'm getting some major pimples on the forehead here and there. It always comes in bactch of 2 or 3.

Tbh i feel like right now my skin under the eye area is my biggest problems. Sides of my face and chin i feel that it's my pillow or just the makeup i use? Not even makeup.. the tissue that i wipe. Because my job do not allow makeup, so i kinda pat my face with bb cushion.. and when i want to enter the cleanroom i just wipe it away.. so might be that? :/

Sigh.. here's to another week..............hopefully at least my scarring will get better. :(

Differing Update 10

well here it is. My week 12 just ended with differin. Honestly... it helped in the first few weeks by purging but really badly.. right now idk why I think might be some of my foundation that I'm wearing that's causing some cc on my cheeks. My face has gone down with the pimples but increasing with cc... such is life. And no differin ain't making its magic like how it used to last time with my cc.... laser treatment, I have done second session. Slight improvement but nothing major that people can go wow her skin is really improving. Yeap my skin has still a Long way to go....

Differin Update 9

End of Week 11

Things are pretty much stagnant. My face broke out last week i think because i reuse a tissue paper. But the funny thing is my under eye area, which has the most acne, I do not even touch the area. Nor do i put makeup on it. My cheeks are where i put my makeup. But my cheeks are okay. Generally quite smooth already.

Problem areas now are my under eye and forehead. Ugh my forehead feels like sandpaper. :( CCs aren't forming into pimples. Super stubborn! I have about 20 pimples now. 7 of which are huge acne. And i can't believe im saying this, 1 pustules. Sigh i thought those days were over..........

Only good thing my face is slightly better from scarring due to the laser. This weekend is my second treatment. CAn't wait!

Hope i have no more pimplesssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!

Differing Update 8

End of Week 10

I'm not going talk so much. But this is kind of a rant. It's already week 10 and again I've yet to see and feel smooth complexion. I have 8 huge pimples on my face. 3 of which are still from last week.

I don't understand man. I thought by week 10, healing process should speed up like I dunno in 3 days?? And I'm so ugh. Angry! I have 8 huge pimple on my face and on top of that my scarring!! People are going to think my skin is full of pimples. Sigh.

And it's hard to pin point what is exactly the cause of it. The new medication ? The pills? More purging?

My new makeup? My suncreen sigh why is it that I have such sensitive skin :(

And my work doesn't allow makeup. I feel so down...

Yesterday (20/2) Dermatologist Appointment

Let me refresh you guys a little bit on how and why I wanted to see a dermatologist that is under government subsidy.

Obvious reason #1 is money. I've been to a private dermatologist in Hougang and it was expensive + far for me. So I went ahead to get a referral letter from a polyclinic and she suggested KTPH instead of National Skin Centre (NCS) because of the long waiting line. I was skeptical at first because if it is not direct from a specialize place, normally these people are hmm how do I put it...QUESTIONABLE. For example, the dentist in hospital are like student grads of some sort and it is way better to go to a dental clinic.

But at that point of time (3 months ago), I was desperate on my under the skin bumps, so I agreed hastily. I clearly understand that some creams and procedures are not subsidized as it is a cosmetic thing. Only medicines and consultations are subsidized. Which I don't mind because like I mentioned in my earlier posts, I was concerned on what was going on with my skin and wanting to continue with more antibiotics.

But as time passes, my reason for going changed. As you may know, my cystic acne got way better and left with tons of scarring. Reason #2 is to then ask for advice and options for scar removal.

Boyyyyy was I correct on being skeptical!!!! Yesterday in KTPH, felt like a nightmare that I could not wake up. Firstly, the night before I went ahead and compiled a list of pictures of my skin progress so that the derm can examined. And guess what. He does not even care!! He took a glanced and asked me to put away my phone!!!

Secondly, I asked him regarding Differin why it made me break out so bad. I knew the answer from the tons of research I did. But I just want to hear it from the derm himself. See how the convo went out.

Me: Do you know why when the moment I took Differin my acne went berserk? pointing at phone picture.

Derm: *Glances* Mmm okay but your skin is getting better. Can you please put away your phone now.

Note: at this point he was annoyyed and kinda have a disgusted look on his face because I shown him too much picture that he didn't really care. I was telling my acne story earlier with references from my phone pictures. And he really seem disinterested by interrupting me and asking me basic questions like what meds I have taken, when it started, how was my menstrual cycle. Just. Joting. Down. Notes. No further explanation of any sorts.

Me: So is it okay for me to continue using Differin? 

Derm: Mm if it breaks you out, you can stop using for now.

Me: Mm.. oh kay... 

Me: So what is the cause of my acne? Is it hormonal or products?

Derm: * gives long ass vague answer * so ya basically it could be anything.

Me: alright, so what do you suggest now since I still have acne on my forehead? (before, he inspected my face and noticed some active acne)

Derm: I will give you a 2 month antibiotics. If this doesn't work you can consider isotretinoin.

I'm just like wtf and in disbelief. Inside my heart, I'm like really? Accutane? You're going to suggest accutane that freaking fast?

Me: *gave up on wanting to know more* Okay, so can we discuss on my options for treatments that can remove my acne scarring?

Derm: Oh you can't do that now. You still have active acne. It will aggravate more. Just eat the pills okay. And see me in 2 months time and we will discuss. Anyway this hospital do not do any treatments.

By now I was too shocked by what he said. And just let him suggest all the products and pills. I was really in wtf mode. 

Derm: So what do you think has helped you the past few months? which meds?

Me: *thinking..isn't that your freaking job to know? what works best? How would I freaking know ass.* mm I think Differin did help me to resurface the gunks out.

Derm: Oh okay, then I'll give you another Differin and continue using it.

Again.. WTF??? Just moments ago you told me not to use it? I was ready to cry by now. Too frustrated with this Derm. To think I went ahead waiting for 3 freaking months for this?! All he can give is the same thing a normal polyclinic can give???!! Simple antibiotics, an antiseptic facial wash, another Differin, and some acne gel that I can get OTC.

The hospital don't even do treatments!! He wasn't even helpful in any sorts of questions and advices.

When I was waiting to pay for my pills, I really wanted to cry. What kind of shitty Derm is he?! To think back my Hougang doc, Dr Chin suggested me chemical peels even when i had active acne!! Means it is possible for treatments right?!! I'm so pissed.

I mean 3 months into waiting and all I could get are things form polyclinic arghhhhhhh!! And argh I'm even angrier that there was no treatments that could be done in the hospital. So i might as well seek private clinic from the start???! It is non subsidize anyway.. So I do not need to wait in line for govt hospital. Haisssssssssssssss.

So I quickly called Hougang clinic for an appointment with Dr Chin for consultation for his advice and his thoughts on this. I was desperate and angry because wow 3 months in line and I was down to this.

Dr Chin Consultation

Wow, just wow. A total 360 degree experience. I mean before I always knew he was nice it's just his clinic was too far. Also being a private niche skin clinic, it was also expensive for my student ass.

Anyway wow.. I showed him pictures and also apologise for not seeing him earlier. He politely check on my picture and told me it's okay since my skin has improved alot. He also mention and explains how Differin works. And it was perfectly normal that i breakout that bad. He also mention how he try not to ask his patients to use it because of this side effect. This made me remember how nice he was to tell me options on what pills i can consume to make my skin better before the last resort, accutane. He did gave me chemical peel options but back then I was still a student that's why he suggested on the pills.

Like how great is he? He explains how medication works and also advices the best thing to consume or apply on the face. 

I told him about what the KTPH derm told me how I can't go laser bla bla. He gave out a chuckle and told me that was weird and told me that in fact right now, my skin is the best time to go on laser treatment. 

I could almost cry when i hear that. I. Should. Have. Gone. Sooner. I had a 3/4 months break before work start. And all this could have healed before my work. I could have good skin before work. I could even maybe avoid my cystic explosion? But what's done is done. :/

The great news was that I could do laser. In fact on the day itself. He went through patiently how the laser work and such. And made sure I was calm during the laser treatment.

So I ended up walking out of the clinic $1.4K poorer but also happier towards better skin. It's a course of 5 treatment with 3 weeks interval.

Just a little bit of info on why I'm desperate for acne scar removal is because I'm starting work tmr and I am not allowed to wear makeup. Yes, no makeup. I'm working in a cleanroom. I don't know how it's going to be tmr. You guys know how insecure i am with my skin.That is the reason for my BB cushion purchase. So that i can remove and reapply easily. But i dont even know if that is allowed. And honestly, the scar covers the whole of my cheeks. So wish me luck. 

PS: I've missed a day of differin because of laser. I'll still continue with differin update. And also!! look out for my laser updates every 3 weeks after treatment from now on. :)

PPS: PLEASE WISH ME LUCK FOR TMR!!! :(

Differin Update 7

End of Differin Week 9

I don't know where I should start because the past week has been overwhelming. To be exact yesterday and today. If you follow my acne journey from the start, you might know that I had a dermatologist appointment with a government funded hospital yesterday (Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital). But I shall break down week 9 for me to comprehend better on what has been happening.

Early Week 9

End of week 8 my skin was at a pretty bad state. I've gained a couple of new big pustules pimples that even makeup could not hide it. It was such a setback for me because I thought things were getting better. However last week I narrowed down that maybe it might be a cycle or my Cerave moisturizer. 

I had a couple of events last week so I pretty much wear full makeup on those days. Really felt uncomfortable though. I wore Estee Double Wear but only one layer. I made sure to use clean tools only. And also... eliminate my moisturizer completely. 

However I noticed some tiny white head pimples pops up around the perimeter of my face. Especially cheeks and hairline. So I thought my towel was he cause of it. Because I usually wrap them in a way that hit those spots. So... changed into new towel.

Late Week 9

Come Saturday, I noticed no more new pimples. Except my forehead which I believe is still purging from the CCs I have. And also I want to note that I bought a new foundation which is light weight and non-comedogenic. Laniege Pore Control Cushion. It has fragrance though. But for my work that is starting next week, this is the best I can make do. More on that later..

Anyway I used it on Saturday and Sunday but only a few hours. Fortunately, no new pimples yet.

Let me conclude this week by saying my skin is way better thank it has ever been. I'll talk about my Derm appt in another post because it will get long.

Differin Update 6

End of Differin Week 8

Sigh, to think things are getting better. It's not. I have breakouts on my undereye area. And it's pissing me off. I thought before that it was my dirty tools. But it is not. I've washed my tools but the pimples kept coming in. And the last week.. we are talking about huge pustules not just pimples. It was horrible. :(

And don't even get me started on my forehead. Although no pustules, there's alot of CCs and tiny pimples. Sigh. 4 more weeks to end of Differin course and I still see no sign of steady improving progress. I've heard of people mentioning that their breakout comes in a cycle during their 12 weeks Differin course. I'm hoping it's that. Because I'm really getting pimples at areas that usually do not break out. If it sin't a cycle, then I have a huge feeling that it might be my moisturizer? It breaks my heart because it is always a moisturizer that causes my breakouts. And moisturizer being the most important in a routine, I feel that i always find a good one that is packed with good ingredients. My Cerave is non-comedogenic, fills with hylarounics and even contains niacinamide! Other than that there might be a possibility that my cleansing balm might also be the course of it. (hard to explain because I need to backtrack like 4 months prior..)

I really wanna cry because I really think things are getting better. But it's not.

I'm seeing my dermatologist next week. So that's the only thing I'm looking forward to. And I'll definitely be talking about laser options. My skin scarring is really the worst. :( Just to keep you in the loop, my work does not allow me to use make up. So that's really disheartening. sighhh...

This nightmare just keeps giving ain't it.